Winter Break: A month of de-stress?

As a college student, one of the perks that I have gotten used to, are the extended break periods. I am just now finishing up my winter break, an entire month off in between fall and spring semester. Coming home, I am of course ecstatic about the break from academics, excited to let my mind rest and let go of the stress of almost drowning in homework everyday for the past four months. But there is always a little drizzle of anxiety on top of the relief of the end of the semester.

I come from two loving homes, four very caring parents and four brothers that I love with all of my heart. The holidays are consistently filled with family, euchre, presents and quality time. But, having split parents is a hard thing to manage during the holiday season, and ANY child of divorce can tell you that. In the realm of divorce, I do have it about as good as one could. My parents respect each other, and have always put my oldest brother and I first. But with having four parents, there are four families ready to celebrate and embrace the joys of the holiday's together...all at the same time. If I had a super power, it would be to have the ability to be in more than one place at once. I'm telling you, this would have saved so much stress and anxiety throughout my life.

Being a people pleaser comes with MANY responsibilities, meaning making sure you are available for every person in your life. Let me be the first to say: this is impossible. There is absolutely no way to spread yourself so thin that you make yourself 100% available for all the people you care about. Writing this is easier than doing though, and I have to consistently remind myself of that fact. Especially during the holidays. Throughout my time home, there is a constant fight within my body to choose to be anxiety filled, or giving myself the permission to relax. Some days are harder than others, and anxiety wins, throwing myself into a frenzy of putting together schedules to spend time with all those I need to see, and driving just about everywhere to make that happen.

On the other side of that anxiety, is a very deep need to feel the love that only my family is able to give. An undying support, and interest in how I am genuinely doing. I have relied heavily on this for all of my life, and continue to look to them as I grow up, because I know I could never get through this life without the constant push from my parents reminding me to just be myself. So as hectic, chaotic, and downright unorganized as the holidays can be, I do find myself happily returning to school, with my cup filled in a way that will help me get through this next semester.

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