Finding a Comfortable Seat in a Lonely Room

I write a lot about college. I think I do this to help process through the experience that it is because somedays I cannot grasp any words to describe what going to college is even really about. So bare with me, as I once again work through the current stress ball that is my life. 

When I was in high school, I took pride in being a part of a diverse selection of activities that were offered. I played sports, joined our theatre, held positions in our National Honor Society, and in student government. All of this gave me a sense of community. Coming from such a small place, community becomes not just a word, but a lifestyle that many students, faculty, and citizens take seriously. There is something very fulfilling about contributing to the place that you love. Ever since I started college, I knew that that sense of community I gained from Gobles High School, I wanted to bring that same feeling with me to Adrian. Eager to be a part of things on campus, I got a job in our little theatre, and then our school paper, and have recently joined a sorority on campus: Alpha Sigma Alpha. All of these things are great ways to focus on the bigger picture of my school, and have given me a sense community. But something that I'm beginning to learn, is that being a part of all of these wonderful things doesn't necessarily mean that you will always or right off the bat make you feel like you belong. Confusing, right? There are so many awesome people that I work with everyday, and spend time with for these extracurriculars, but sometimes when you join a group or organization, there are people that have known or been a part of them for a while, and you have to put in the time and dedication to feel like a real part of a (dare I say it) family. There was something about Gobles that has engrained within me a sense of family within sports, school organizations, and whatever else you can think of. I think this is something I am struggling with here at Adrian...really finding my place and people. This isn't to say I don't absolutely adore this school, because I do. But I felt this was a necessary topic to touch on, because maybe there are more college sophomores that are members of groups or jobs that really, really want to make connections with people, but are falling a little short in the friend category. 

In high school, I remember struggling with figuring out with what being "lonely" meant. I wish I could say I figured that out. But, I haven't. The hard part, is I know I am comfortable with being alone, which I truly believe is different than being lonely. My favorite person to hang out with is myself, and I love that I've gotten to the point where I am comfortable with that. But I have this very strong urge that wants to feel 100% involved and a part of something that fills me with joy. Now, I know that this will come with time. Maybe I'm overthinking or stressing myself out, but writing it down definitely helps me feel better. My advice for anyone that's searching for a sense of community, is to not feel afraid to join what is available to you. Even though it might take time, all you can do is try and put yourself out there. Get comfortable with being alone, and be thankful for the time that you get to rejuvenate and fill your own cup with self love. 

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